Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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