batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
