I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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