Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
