dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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