Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize