You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
