u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
