I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
