pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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