What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
