it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
