Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
