i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Drake has all the answers
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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