is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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