she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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