i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize