Dual....:-)
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
