Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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