i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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