No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Still dying that you shit outside
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
