I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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