On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
