Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
