It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize