I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
