In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
