Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
home. puking in laundry basket.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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