Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
