I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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