So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
