You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
