no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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