You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
