So drunk its hurt
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
