Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
