she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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