You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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