Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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