I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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