So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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