i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
