I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Enjoy the penises
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
