I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
