I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
