You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
