If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
