you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
