so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
either way he was missing a nipple.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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