I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
