That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
