I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
