Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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