Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
