and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize