you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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