At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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