Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize