Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
