when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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