I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
