i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
