i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
