I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
