nut hugger
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
