tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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