Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
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