Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
