adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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