weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I think I sprained my soul last night
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
