ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
