is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
