I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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