I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
