Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
