he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
