Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
