planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
