Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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